4 Days

I am freaking out.

I am excited to go home, but now, the realization that I will actually have to leave this place to get there has finally hit me, and I don't want to face it.



This song pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I think it's perfect.

I will miss this place so much. I promise to come back. Times infinity.

Today, I woke up and there was some stress involving printing...end of term is like the apocalypse. Seriously. I went to Pendle college's computer lab to print my poetry, but all the computers were taken. I walked over to the Learning Zone and it wouldn't let me log in to the computer. I finally ended up trying the library, and I had to go searching for an open computer (didn't take me long, but still) and I finally -- finally -- managed to print out what I needed in time for class.

My creative writing tutor said some really nice things to me today. She specifically asked me to stay after class to talk about things. She told me I'm a natural writer, and that when I wrote my short story about Korea, she thought it was beautiful. She told me I'm good with descriptions, space, and that I have issues with tense, which I thought was funny. And she told me she has problems with tense too. It was really nice to directly hear from someone say these things to me. Especially someone who actually knows a thing or two about writing.

I got kind of bored today and since I always freak about packing, I decided to start a little early. I packed most of my things away, and I have my outfits set for the rest of this week. I did some laundry, and I now have to plan out how I'm going to pack in the rest of my stuff as the week goes on...it's funny because I actually feel like I'm bringing less back. That never happens. But maybe it'll change once I get to Manchester.

I made a list of the things I must do when I come home:

1. Actually meet up with the friends that I said I would meet up with.
2. Eat Chipotle.
3. Hang out at Target.
4. Get out my guitar. I miss her.
5. Bake.
6. Write letters to Lancaster.
7. Shop. I miss the Mall of America!
8. Organize my photos, print them out, and make a photo book through Snapfish.
9. Work out.
10. Watch holiday related movies. (The Holiday, The Last Holiday, Love Actually, Elf, Miracle on 34th Street, The Polar Express, Edward Scissorhands, Night Before Christmas, Just Friends, etc.)
11. Watch Bollywood films.
12. Catch up on my K-Dramas and K-Pop.
13. Read.
14. Karaoke.
15. Piano.
16. Get a haircut.
17. Have an amazing time with Carolyn and her family on New Years Eve in Buffalo, NY!

That's all I've got so far. I feel a little less sad now, than I was before. There's a lot to look forward to this winter break! I need to quit thinking I'll never be able to come back, because I already promised I would. These next few days will be a bit emotional for me, which is weird because I'm not usually outwardly emotional. I have a feeling I may shed some tears, because I actually almost felt like crying today.

I have a big place in my heart for Lancaster, because I think I've changed a lot and grown up a lot these past few months. But at the same time, I'm still the same. This experience will forever be a great milestone in my life, something unforgettable.

Cheers! :)

Survey

For my online class through the U of M, I had this assignment reflecting on my time here in the UK, and also thinking into the future about re-entering into the US.  I thought it was really helpful, and maybe interesting for others to read.

1.     In what ways have I changed?

Studying abroad has me in a lot of different ways.  Before coming here, I had always felt like I was still just a child, despite being of adult age.  Even though I could be independent, I think I was still relying a lot on other people, particularly my parents.  I have become more autonomous and self-reliant.  Being away from friends and family, I have a lot more self-confidence in doing things by myself.  I have gotten better at being able to make decisions and execute them.

2.     In what ways might my friends and family have changed?

I don’t think they will have changed as people, but things that have happened will have changed the dynamics of the relationship.  My parents have always been rather close-minded, but I think with me studying abroad and growing as a person, that gap will have gotten wider.  Even when I was home, I had always felt like I had a better understanding of the world than my parents because living in a small town doesn’t offer a lot of chances to think critically about the world.  After my experience here in the UK, I feel like I’m actually a part of something bigger than just my life back at home.  I feel more like a “global citizen.”

3.     How would I like my family and friends to treat me when I return home?

I would really like it if they were excited to hear about all my stories and what I learned.  I want them to be excited to hear about the things I did and saw while I was in the UK.  I also would like for them to be patient with me, because I think they will find that I’ve become even more critical than I was before about the United States.

4.     What am I looking forward to the most? The least?

I am most looking forward to being around my friends and family.  I am excited to go back to eating my mother’s cooking, being at home, and seeing my friends in Minneapolis.  Being away has given me a newfound appreciation for Minneapolis.  There are a lot of things I miss about being in the city, particularly the convenience of everything.

I’m least looking forward to not hearing British accents every day and discussing English culture with my UK friends.  It’s fun to talk about the differences in culture and being with others that have a very different cultural perspective.  I am also least looking forward to the bitter Minnesota winter and not being able to see the English landscape every day.

5.     What are the lessons I have learned that I never want to forget?

I have learned to be more accepting of people.  People in the UK are more homogeneous than what I am used to.  They have a strong sense of what is “English,” and it took a little while for me to get used to, although I love it now!  I think the US stresses being unique and having your own sense of self.  In the UK, people are unique, but at the same time, there’s a sense of solidarity there in being English.  And even though I considered myself a very good listener before my study abroad experience, I think I’ve gotten even better at taking the time to hear people’s different point of views.

6.     What are some skills I have learned?

I have learned to manage my time better between being social, focusing on school work, and travelling.  I have also learned to adapt to a new environment and understand the cultural differences.  I have also learned how to communicate despite these cultural differences through listening and observing in new environments.

7.     Some say that re-entry shock is more challenging than initial culture shock. What are some things I might do to make the transition easier?

I think it would help if I tried to seek out others who have had study abroad experiences.  And it might also be helpful for me to stay in touch with the friends I made while in the UK.  But I think talking it out with someone would probably be the most helpful to me.

8.     What have been the important things about this study abroad experience that I want to share with family and friends?

I’d really like to show them pictures of my travels around the UK, and tell them about how differently education works in the UK.  Going to school here has had a big impact on me, because it works so differently here.  I think I would also share my frustrations, but also talk about the fun times I had with the friends I made.

9.     What do I want to do with the experiences I’ve had?

I would really like to speak to others about the positive effects the experience had on me.  One of my neighbors from home who is a substitute teacher asked me before I left if would be interested in talking to some younger students about my trip after I come back.  I am really looking forward to do more things like that, and giving insight to others about life outside the United States.  I want to share the perspectives that people in the UK have about people in the US.

Cheers! :)